


Maybe I Love You

by orphan_account



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Angsty Reddie, Anxiety, Fluff, Happy Reddie, Homophobia, Internalised Homophobia, Love, M/M, Multi, Richie’s super head over heels for Eddie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 02:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20685980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Maybe I love you, Eddie Kaspbrak, with your stupidly cute little freckles and your soft hair and every insecurity that makes you want to crawl into a hole and die in the middle of the night. Maybe I love you how you are.”“Maybe I love you, too, Richie Tozier.”Richie’s wish finally came true later that night: he finally got to taste Eddie’s sweet cherry chapstick.





	Maybe I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> this is an au, so pennywise doesn’t exist, and it is set in 1989. will be based off of the movies and the books to the best of my ability.

It was in the early summer of 1989 when Richie Tozier finally came to terms with his feelings for his best friend Eddie Kaspbrak.

In all reality, they’d been there for years. Every time Rich closed his eyes he could see the small, brown-haired boy in his mind, his smile as vivid as it would be had he been standing right in front of him. It wasn’t something he could control—falling for his best friend—but at this point, he didn’t want to. The neverending flames of his love for Eddie would burn through him until the day he died.

Whenever Eddie went to Richie after a particularly long and hard day fighting with his mother or getting trampled by Henry Bowers and his ‘crew’, Richie would cuddle the boy in his arms and make sure he was calmed down and was okay before he would ever let go. Sometimes, if Eddie felt like it, Richie would curl his fingers through the small brown wisps of Eddie’s hair and tell him about his day in order to make him feel better. He soon found out that whenever Eddie was having a bad day, talking about his own day made him feel much, much better.

Today was no different. Eddie had called Richie from a payphone down the street from his house with the last quarter he had and asked him to meet him down at the Barrens. Richie immediately perked up from his bed when his mother told him that Eddie was on the phone, and it sounded urgent. Maggie Tozier regularly said it sounded urgent when Eddie called, nearly crying; it was her way of letting Richie know that he could go tend to whatever was going on with the boy.

Maggie Tozier and Stanley Uris were the only ones to know of Richie’s feelings for Eddie. Naturally, if Wentworth Tozier found out about his homosexuality, Richie and Maggie would be cussed into next year about how it was a sin—a disgrace to the Gods. Lord knows what he’d do to Maggie if he were to ever find out that she knew and was blatantly keeping it from him. 

Stanley Uris, on the other hand, was Richie’s best friend (other than Eddie, of course). He knew everything there was to know about the lanky, curly-haired boy, from pretty much the colour of his underwears to how strong his love for Eddie was. Stanley also knew Eddie’s side of it and had been trying to get the two boys together for months.

Eddie felt the same as Richie did, though Richie didn’t know—and would never know. He wasn’t struggling with his sexuality as much as Richie; Eddie knew he liked boys, knew girls would never be the thing for him, and knew that if his mother ever found out, she’d flip. The only people that openly knew were the Losers Club—everyone in school had their suspicions, but no one said a word. Nobody dared. 

Richie Tozier began to ponder his sexuality once more as he held Eddie’s hand while they walked towards the small clubhouse the Losers had built a while back. He knew it was almost selfish of him to be thinking of his own issues rather than thinking about what happened with Eddie, but he couldn’t help it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t repress his feelings of uncertainty.

“You okay?” Eddie asked, looking up at the taller boy. Their fingers were still interlocked with each other even as they sat down together on the hammock, laying opposite each other. Eddie’s feet were by Richie’s head, and vice versa, but they never let each other’s hand go.

“What?” Richie asked, shaking his head as if it would make the thoughts go away. “No—yeah, I’m all right. What’s up with you, Eds?”

Eddie scowled at the nickname but chose to move further and continue their conversation. “My mom was on my ass all day. Do this, do that—I couldn’t step sideways without her sassing me off about my medicine; I couldn’t smile without her pestering me about what it was that was making me smile because it sure as hell wasn’t her. I felt completely smothered!”

Richie winced and his heart sped up as he realised Eddie’s hand was still in his. He was head over heels, and he was fucked. 

“I’m sorry,” he frowned. “I’m glad you finally got out, though.”

“Richie Tozier, being a sap? Since when?” Eddie laughed, kicking Richie’s glasses from his face with his sock-clad foot. Richie sighed and glared at the boy, but broke out laughing only a few seconds later.

“Never a sap, Spaghetti. Just do it to make you blush.”

“I don’t blush!” Eddie exclaimed. “Prove it.”

“Your cheeks are literally redder than a tomato, I don’t have to prove anything.”

“Shut up.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be sad?” Richie asked. “I’m supposed to be cheering you up and we’re debating the obvious—I’m right.”

Eddie thought for a moment. Rather than replying, he closed his eyes and rested his unoccupied arm under his head, thinking. It wasn’t rare of Eddie to think—whereas Richie talked nonstop, he thought nonstop. He thought of many things; things that were deemed a crime for no good reason; things that would ruin his friendships; he thought of a lot of things. The predominating thought at the time were the things that would ruin his friendships.

Like how everything would go down had he told Richie the things he thought of him.

Like how his lips would taste.

Like how he would hate Eddie for the rest of his life if he ever found out about the things he was thinking about.

Like how his mother would react if she ever found out about the things he was thinking about. 

With a heavy sigh, Eddie let go of his best friend’s hand and got off the hammock. Richie sat up and picked his glasses up from the floor, looking over at Eddie’s direction curiously. “What is it, Eds?”

“Hate when you call me that…” he mumbled under his breath. “Just thinking.”

Though Richie heard what he said at first, he chose to ignore it. “What about? How I fucked your mom last night?”

Eddie choked on the air around him as he began to scowl, a laugh building up in his throat. He swallowed his laugh and reached for his aspirator, but within seconds, the air made its way back into his lungs and he didn’t need it.

“Shut up, Chee. I’m thinking things about something you have no idea about.”

“Boys?” he teased innocently, laughing. “Thinking about a boy that isn’t me? You cheating on me now, Eddie Spaghetti?” 

“Obviously, dipshit.”

“Hey now,” he laughed. “No need to be so… aggressive.”

“I’m just upset, all right?” Eddie finally burst, which was what Richie was waiting for. 

“About what, Eds? Talk to me, yeah?”

Eddie sighed and finally gave in—he wouldn’t be able to hide his feelings much longer; not with the way Richie was looking at him. With a smile, Eddie made his way back over to the hammock where Richie sat and sat down with him, laying the two down again, facing each other. 

Eddie’s face was close enough to Richie’s that he could smell the candy that radiated from Richie’s mouth, and Richie could practically taste the sweet cherry chapstick that coated the smaller boy’s lips. 

He wished, even for just a moment, that one day he’d be able to taste Eddie’s cherry chapstick.


End file.
